Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Countdown Begins ...

One month from today I am scheduled to go under the knife. I made the decision about two months ago to finally set the ball in motion on Bariatric Surgery. At age 27, I am a ticking time bomb -healthwise. I suffer from Hypertension, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and Scoliosis. These conditions, while not optimal, are far better than some of the other overweight population. Diabetes, Congestive Heart Failure, GERD, Sleep Apnea are all in my future if my circumstances do not change.

So, I signed up for the mandatory free seminars at Centinnial in Nashville, TN, and the rest is history. I fell in love with the surgeon giving the seminar and all of the pieces began to fall in place. Now, if some of you are concerned that maybe I made this decision on the spur of the moment ( I mean let's face it going from curious to done in 90 days is pretty fast) this is my third round with the free seminars and "meet and greet" your surgeon. While this round went really quickly, I am informed and I also am finally ready.

I began reading a blog (thanks to my wonderful friend, Amy) about life during and after WLS www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com and from that I became increasingly excited about the new possibilities for life.

Before I really go into my emotional part of this, because trust me it's overwhelming, let me start by saying-- I am very content with my life. Most people don't understand it, I mean who could look like me and be content right? My friends who are married fear that I will never fall in love. My friends who are parents fear that I will never have children. My friends who are obsessed with looks fear that I am giving up when I wear my hair up on a night out.

I have an amazing family, I mean a family that people write about in books. My brothers and I are best friends, of course we get on eachother's nerves but that's the fun of it. My parents are still happily married after almost 30 years. We had a tumultuous relationship during my teen years (God I was HORRIBLE), but now they are two of my best friends in life. I grew up with Paternal Grandparents who I saw weekly. My Memac was a FANTASTIC cook who was all about love, good food, entertaining, family, and holidays. I am so much like her it is eerie. My Memac died at a younger age than she should have due to complications from diabetes. She was non-compliant for the majority of my life. My Granddaddy loved me dearly, I was always his favorite (sorry to my other cousins who were under the impression that they were). My Maternal Grandparents are still living. Great people who farmed their entire life, quite possibly never broke the law and I know for a fact never said a cuss word there entire 90 years of life. I have three aunts (Linda, Barbie, & Tara) all completely different personalities. I have two uncles (Johnny & Ben) both of whom were main men of mine growing up. My Uncle Johnny is my MD so I put my life in his hands repeatedly. And my Uncle Ben was probably my first hero growing up. He was younger than my dad and Johnny so to us kids, he was the coolest uncle in the world. I have 7 cousins on my dad's side. So I got the best of both worlds. I grew up in a big, close family and a reserved family where I didn't have to compete with anyone for attention.

I have some amazing friends. I always tease my mom that when I get married I am gonna have to have a "Bridal Team" so that I can include all my girl friends. There are 13 of them that I consider best friends of mine. So you can imagine sending a mass text or trying to send out an invite for a dinner party. It is always a to-do. My girlfriends are the craziest, moodiest, rowdiest, meanest group of girls you will ever meet. And all those descriptions fit me too, which is why we get along so well. But I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world. And although it is incredibly hard to keep up with all of them, when we get together we take up where we left off.

The men in my life are a completely different story. I am so taken care of by a core group of men, who I believe would give anything for me. I take care of them and they definitely take care of me.

My job, My education, My home - everything is just how I want it. My love life is perfect for my life right now. I am entirely too selfish about my time and my space to be sharing it with someone on a daily basis. So I say all this to say ... that I am completely content. In love in fact with the way my life is. Which is really one of the scariest parts of this whole thing. What if this changes my personality or worse my world? Of course it will change my life, but what if I am not happy with the way things turn out? So if anyone was curious on my reasons for having surgery is it solely because I WANT A FUTURE SANS DIABETES & IMMOBILITY. I WANT TO LIVE PAST THE AGE OF 40. I do not feel like I am dying, I don't even feel sad about my life. I just want to live longer.

2 comments:

  1. erin- im so proud of you! Im in this journey with you 110% .... you are so amazing .. these words are spoken so beautifully.. I love you

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