Fat Chances

So as you all know, I am a big girl. And when I say I am a big girl, I do not mean in that cute "everybody loves a thick chick" type of big. I have been considered morbidly obese since probably the 5th grade. Who knows why! Is it genes? Is it inactivity? Is it thyroids? Do I really eat that much more than the average Joe?

I suspect I have a slow metabolism. I also work at a job where I am sedentary 90 % of the day. I also have begun some piss poor eating habits that include late night munching and loads of sugar.

I know that most of you have been with me throughout this whole journey. You watched as I lost 135 pounds! You watched as I transformed my body! And then I am sure, you felt a surge of disappointment as you saw my weight loss dwindle.

I could never describe for you readers my feelings about my weight. Frustration, Exhaustion, Despair, Anger. Those words can't even begin to describe my feelings. But something I didn't anticipate feeling was sorrow, embarrassment, and guilt. If I am being completely transparent with you guys, letting down the people who were so excited for this journey with me was not something I was concerned about until I started to see the level of enthusiasm this blog got!! I get it, everybody struggles with weight in some form or fashion. Whether they are too skinny, too big, uncomfortable in a bathing suit or just uncomfortable in jeans. Everyone can relate. And transformations are always fun to watch.

The attention was well received and I am not entirely sure what "went wrong" with my journey except to say that I am burnt out on dieting and meal plans and food sans sugar. I didn't want to mess with it any longer. I still have my "tool" of a smaller stomach and my knowledge from all my nutrition classes. And all the support I could ever need.

This post is to let you know I am grateful to all of you, and I am still here, still big, still beautiful, and still determined to live my best life yet.

Stay Tuned ...