6 weeks post-op

Friday I went for my 6 week post-op appointment, and while my weight loss has slowed, I am still on schedule  with my recovery.  The last week I have been experiencing a significant amount of fluid retention causing my legs and ankles to swell significantly! I was nervous about this (since I decided to google the causes of this) but was encouraged when my surgeon explained that my body was in "survival mode" and this would pass. 

So since the beginning, I have lost 60 lbs. nothing the last two or three weeks, but since I lost so much in the beginning - this also is considered normal.  I am on soft solids and can eat  most meats, cheeses, eggs, and cooked vegetables. 

One thing I learned at my appointment on Friday is that we, as humans, are supposed to have half of our body weight in ounces in water daily.  So, my 350 pound self should be drinking about 175 ounces of water daily (it is no wonder my body thinks I am starving it). 

The last two weeks have been MUCH better for me physically, I have been able to do more excercising and just all around feeling better.  I was worried Post Op weeks 3&4 that I wouldn't make it - but I did and life is going on.  I am so ready to get this Spring/Summer activities well under way!

Strength

I want to start by apologizing for the gap in blog posts, I know many have you have been concerned or even just curious about how my journey is going up to this point.  Not only have I not felt like blogging, but I have a real issue with being negative.  I don’t want to come across as someone who is unhappy, so I have tried to put this off as long as I could.

My mom has been on my case for weeks to write, so here it is ma – the best I got.

Today is my 35^th day sans solid food.  I have been mad, sad, sick, tired, lonely, and confused for the past month.  Every emotion has hit me besides the one that I was welcoming – pride & joy.  So many people have made the comment that I am one of the strongest people they know, or that my strength is encouraging.  While I appreciate those sentiments, I cannot help but want to scream NO I AM NOT – I AM HUNGRY, I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS!!! I haven’t yet been depressed, because even in the midst of all these negative emotions I do see the light at the end of this journey.  As of March 10^th, I had lost 50 lbs.  I have not weighed since then (I plan on doing that on Monday).  But my friends are able to tell, and I am starting to be able to notice a significant change in different body parts (hands, feet, face, butt). 

Along with the nausea the worst thing I have encountered is the “ketonic” breath I have developed.  Which, I am told, means my body is metabolizing my fat – but it tastes horrible (and I can only imagine what it smells like).

On a positive note, my birthday was Monday – and I was able to experience my first birthday sans cake, ice cream, dinner, and drinks.  Some friends and I bowled Saturday, played Bunco Sunday, and my parents cleaned my house/yard on my actual BDAY – not to mention my roommate filled our living room with balloons.  So … who needs cake & ice cream!?! J I may even consider skipping it next year if the same rules apply.

So for now, it is still water, Crystal Light, & Sugar Free Popsicles.  Next week I will be able to start soft/mushy foods, and I have never been so excited about tuna fish in my entire life.  My stomach only holds 4oz at a time, so while I will have to eat like a bird – the taste and texture is what I miss the most.

A big thanks to everyone that has loved and supported me through this.  I WILL beat this! I WILL NOT lose myself.  The best is yet to come.  But let me just say – there is NO WAY I would have been able to do this without my parents.  They are, after all, my biggest fans!

“Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God … He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless.  Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.” ß Isaiah (Thanks Lynn)

Good with the Bad

My one week post-op appointment was today with my surgeon.  I have been struggling to reach my minimum 64oz of fluids each day, and not even came close to my goal of 60g proteins each day - so I was dreading this follow up visit.  I hit the scales and was 46 pounds down, 7 points lower on my BMI, and my excercise physiologist said that I was way ahead of schedule. 

The bad news for me is that I have three more weeks on this FREAKING (for lack of a better word) liquid diet. The emotional/mental ailments associated with this procedure, are lurking (I can feel them).  Also I have developed a transfer addiction (sorry folks, not as exciting as you'd hope) Vampire Diaries. 

While I love spending time at home with my mom, I am excited to go back to work, see my friends again, and love on the sweet babies in my life.  Thanks everybody for your kindness and support.  Hold tight ... the ride has not yet begun to get good.

Back at it!

Today is Post-Op Day #4. I am experiencing minimal pain (almost like someone kicked me in the gut). I am experiencing a little buyer's remorse (I really want a normal meal). I am also experiencing strange gurgling from my new stomach. Other than those things this process has been tolerable. I've received some gorgeous flowers and sweet cards from friends and family. One more week at my parent's and I'll be back among the living.

Twas the Night Before

It's here!!! The night before my surgery, and it's strange - although I feel like my nerves should be making me sick, I have an overwhelming sense of calm.  I am exhausted - mentally, emotionally, physically, but I am so ready to get this show on the road.  I had an Upper GI this morning - yuck! - a pre-op class this afternoon, and some blood work drawn.  I am home safe with my parents, and have to be back in Nashville around 5:30am.

Dear Lord: Please protect me from harm.  Please guide my surgeon, Dr. Olsen's, hands tomorrow during this surgery.  I pray there is no unexpected complications, though I know if there is - it is Your will.  Please be with my family and friends during this time, and grant them peace.  I pray that this recovery is speedy and You will supply me the strength I need to get up and get on with life.  I thank you for all you have given me, and for all that you are going to give me.  Forgive me as I continue to fall short.  Amen. 

Kickin' Butt & Buckets

As promised, tonight I want to talk about my Bucket List.  The list I have made, of  25 things I want to do before I "kick the bucket."  But first ... let me tell you a little bit about my day.  I had some Pineapple Greek Yogurt for breakfast, a Chocolate protein shake for lunch, & some Chicken Broth for dinner.  I felt rough today.  I don't know if it was the weather, a mix of recently developed health concerns, or just that the hunger is finally getting to me, but it hit me hard.  On my lunch break I had an interview with the Messenger Inquirer, thanks to the anonymous tip - the Health section of MI wanted to do a story about my blog.  Then after my lunch I sent an email out to my department at work letting them know about my surgery & blog, and got so many kind responses.  Hopefully some of my co-workers are reading tonight -(I told them about my possible transfer addictions, and I think they think this read is going to be more exciting than it is).  When I got home, I had every intention of packing up and heading on to Russellville, but I was drained.  So, finally Day #6 the hunger is kicking my butt.

Okay so before I die I want to...
1 - Get a tattoo (a walrus - with sunglasses and a cigar)
2- Go fishing (and actually catch a fish)
3- Learn to drive a stick a shift
4- Drive a golf ball
5- Watch the sun rise over water
6- Eat caviar
7- Take a photo in all 50 states
8- See Phil Collins perform
9- Make snow angels
10- Sing karaoke
11- Grow something beautiful
12- Get a full-body massage
13- See Kenny G perform
14- Attend an opera
15- Get fake eyelashes
16- See NYC at Christmastime
17- Watch fireworks over the ocean
18- Perfect a recipe for meatloaf (I am so close!)
19- Swim with the dolphins
20- Get a full-body wax
21- Wear stilettos
22- Ride a motorcycle
23- Own a boat
24- Visit the Eiffel Tower
25- Drive Route 69

So there it is, 25 reasons why I am not done living - better yet - I have only just begun!!!!

Packing List

Today I have been spacy feeling, in all honesty, I am probably not getting near the amount of water that I should.  I had a yogurt for breakfast, a strawberry protein shake for lunch, and have had a fudgesicle so far for dinner.  I may have a bowl of chicken broth before bed.  I have had a dull headache since 2pm, and am not entirely sure why (unless it’s the prior-mentioned water problem).  I had plans to go to my Shore-Watch Party, which for those of you who don’t know is some friends and I get together every Thursday and watch Jersey Shore, but I cancelled due to my headache and the fact that I have SO much to do before I go in to work tomorrow. 

Tonight I am packing a surgery bag.  This is what I plan to take:

-My IPOD (which I am filling as we speak)

-Hair ties and a brush

-My own pillow

-My Shaker Cup

-Shampoo & Powder

-Slippers & Robe (which I am hoping my mom will pick up for me tomorrow)

-Some loose clothes to change in to on discharge day

-Chapstick!!

-Feminine Products: all my info says that even if you have just finished your cycle more likely than not the shock of surgery causes you to restart (Oh Joy!)

I take off tomorrow right after work, heading to my parent’s for the weekend and into the hospital Monday for all of my Pre-Op visits.  Tomorrow night I am going to post about my Bucket List.  So stay tuned…  5 days left!